How many times have those words been said in your marriage? Of the five land mines of marriage, communication is always #1!
There are many reasons why we quit talking like we used to. Among them are familiarity, ruts & routine, busyness, and fear. We don’t have time to deal with the dynamics in curing that but we can look at a few ways to get talking again, and for some of you simply deepen the conversation.
Tammy and I rarely run out of things to share and talk about. (Mostly cause I love to talk and I love to ask questions). But I’m not talking about simply getting chatter going. The goal of healthy communication is to “know and be known”. To have a partner who listens and who shares advice and their own story. Couples who talk transparently have marriages with fewer divorce, and better emotional health.
So let’s talk about how to get it going:
1. Put the phone, tablets & TV away. These are terrible distractions.
2. Start being a learner. Read books, do studies. Those who do such things have new topics to bring to the conversation.
3. Watch movies and shows, that move you emotionally. That make you think. These are great for bringing up new topics.
4. Individually or as a couple get involved in serving people (feeding homeless, visiting assisted living homes, etc) this breeds such good conversation.
5. Host a dinner party. Being with others lets you appreciate your mate. Gives more topics to share about.
6. Get a book of questions. Ask about dreams, fears, feelings, etc.
7. Go people watch. Guess what they do for a living. How much money. What secrets they hold. We’re only guessing, but the thoughts we share creates healthy dialogue.
8. Do a daily check-in. Asking questions like, What’s your feeling word? Are you anxious about anything? What are you praying about?
So how about you? How do you get conversation flowing?